I am the worst. I know. I think I should change the name of the blog to Inspirations...Almost Yearly.

Needless to say, a lot has happened. Most of it not so good but like I have etched into my heart, "all things happen for the good...".

I had five wisdom teeth taken out in August. What the hell did I do that for? Listening to my friends tell me it's not that bad and tell me that I would heal quickly. Well here it is, a whole month later, and my damn mouth still hurts and a section of my face still numb. Let me calm down. I'm about to get mad all over again.

I understand that I may heal a little slower because I have Lupus but c'mon a sista needs some relief. Of course before the procedure, I had to sign my life away to my dentist in case something like this happens. Malpractice suit my dentist's arse.

So I am just sitting here in my living room, mildly miserable but happy to be on this side of heaven.

My daddy called.

He checked himself into rehab.

I was walking out of church when I noticed a foreign phone number on my cell phone's caller ID. He left a voice message saying that he had checked himself into rehab for alcohol and reefer abuse. Who in the world in this day and age still says reefer? Hey, hey but I digress..

It was an ironic thing, or should I say a very God thing, because pastor's sermon that particular Sunday was intercession. He said it was very important that the children of God pray for one another. He calls it Intercessory Prayer and I know it all too well. I have a habit of not praying for my wants and needs but I will pray til the heavens open up for someone else.

Since I rarely know what my dad and others are going through, I always just ask God to meet needs seen and unseen. I figure that blanket statement covers a lot of ground.

I didn't have a clue as to what my daddy was battling. All I know is that when I would call him, someone would always tell me he was at the store. Well got damn. How many bags of 'tater chips can one man eat? But I knew in my mind my daddy wouldn't investing in no Lays. He was spending up my child support money on Boone's Farm and Topps papers.

So I started to pray.

And God must have heard me. Because the heavens opened up.

Pray
Until
Something
Happens

and let me know how everything went. Be Blessed.

(This was written about 2 weeks ago. Sorry that I am just posting it but a sista got Internet at home now so let's pray that I am a bit more efficient.)

I am going to spare you with how sorry I am that I haven't written in over a month but a sista is tired after work and going to the library to blog seemed like a part-time job. The school kids are out for the summer and fighting them for computer time is like fighting a fat kid for the last piece of cake.

Well anyhoo, I've learned that I have a new pet peeve. Some folks think it's great to tell me, "take care of yourself." No, really?!? What do you think that I am about to go eat a tub of lard and play in rush hour traffic. I truly do the best that I can but child, things go wrong. Let me start from the beginning.

About three weeks ago, I started to feel really, really bad. I knew it was a possible lupus flare-up but I kept it moving. With the new job, my health insurance didn't begin until the first of July. So my plan was to just take those extra strength Tylenol, grin and bear it.

At my job, my balled up face and disposition were the worst. Just terrible. I wasn't my usual joyful self self. My quick-witted humor wasn't there and I just didn't want to be bothered with my co-workers. I separated myself more than usual. Nothing personal, that's just what I do. I have never been one to mingle with co-workers anyone. My main goal at work is to collect my monies every two weeks. That's why it's called work. Go to work, get paid. Lord knows I have enough friends.

Anyhoo, I was having a hard time especially at night. I went to the bathroom one night and my legs and knees were hurting so badly that I didn't want to get off the toilet. I'm so wacky that I decided that I was going to get some rolls of tissue from under the sink to make a pillow for me to rest my head on. I would like to say lupus impedes judgment but I have a hunch that I was like this before I even contracted lupus. Imagine that. Me on the toilet, night shorts around my ankles, laying my head on toilet paper.

I started skipping Tuesday evening bible study because I was just too tired to make it and I'm so wacky that that's what I told the pastor. He asked, "are you going to be here Sunday?" Before I knew it I was like,"no." I sure hope he isn't standing at the pearly gates with Paul and Peter 'nem when I get there. While they are determining my eternity, I just may have to break out my toilet paper pillow and make a pallet.

So this past Sunday, I was feeling awful, just awful. I remember my pastor in Detroit saying, "if you can make it to church everything will be alright." So I found me some flat shoes and trudged my weak self into church everything will be alright." So I found me some flat shoes and trudged my weak self into church. I was alright until pastor prayed that benediction prayer. Now what did he have to do that for? Before I knew it I was crying all over the place. I was holding some lady's hand that I had never seen before. Come to find out she is a healer, evangelist, preacher, I dunno something like that. I have her card. I could hear her praying for me. God covers my silly self when I don't know how to pray for myself. Intercession is no joke. I felt 1,000 times better after I cried. My body still had aches but something happens when you get around other believers and prayers go up.

To add to my hell naw-dom, remember I resigned myself not to go to the doctor because the insurance didn't start til the first of next month. Well yesterday morning when I woke up, I thought I saw the "lupus mask" as it is called on my face. I truly, honestly do not consider myself vain but you should have me scrambling with these weak knees trying to call my doctor. Oh doc, I gotta get in today to see you. The lupus mask looks terrible for lack of a better phrase. You can google "lupus mask" to see one. I do not want those uneven bumps and discoloration across my cheeks and bridge of my nose. No ma'am but my God Bless anyone who is dealing with that. So I had a doctor's appointment Monday at 4:15. I had made up in my mind that whatever the cost, I would put it on my Mastercard. I always heard how expensive doctor's appointments are when you are uninsured.

Long story short this what doc said to me, "of course, you are hurting. You don't have any medicine in your system. You said it to yourself you haven't taken anything since March." Oh yeah, I did say that. I have told ya'll before, God protects fools...and babies. So he prescribed some goodies ad as I go to check out, one of my co-workers moms is at the check window. She charges me-get this-$60 for a doctor's visit. And then when I told her what he prescribed for me, she told me that Wal-Mart has a $4.00 list. She called Wal-Mart and the three meds that doc prescribed were all on the $4.00 list. Now don't tell me what God won't do for a little girl without health insurance.

I started taking the meds immediately and guess what?? Twinkle Toes is baccckkkkk!! I feel so much better. Thank you, Lord! And my disposition is back to being wonderful.

Yesterday, I went to bible study and my pastor said, "Sunday, I knew something was wrong because you looked a little weighted." He added that he immediately went into prayer for me in the pulpit. He said the spirit told him to tell me to eat better and to get in the Word. He said God has so much planned for me, more than I know. I was like damn!! That's just confirmation to my Oprah-sized aspirations. And you mean God is going to take me further than that?!? Well let me get on the ball and do my part then. I'm holding up my own life like many of you are holding up your own.

God really isn't going to bless us until we get to where we can hear him. The area where I am falling short is that I am not pursuing my calling. I know that I am supposed to be writing books. I also know that there are only so many times that I can tell God that I have writer's block.

If you don't know what your calling is, meditate on what He has called you to do and work that thing. You may have to turn of the house phone, cell phone and remove other clutter but it is so worth it. Things come together so much easier when we are obedient (we tend to run from that word don't we). Things seem to fall in place effortlessly. I remember times like that in my life when it seemed that everything I did was handed to me on a silver platter. It was a great, comforting feeling. I have to do some re-evaluating. I fell of the boat somewhere.

Expect some hindrances here and there but hey, that's life. The bible reads it rains on the just and the unjust. Isn't it a relief to know that all God expects is our best and dedication?

Be well...and don't forget to take care of yourself.

Well ya girl had a breakdown in the middle of Publix. How befitting right? I'm the girl who loves to eat so why not have a breakdown in the middle of the bakery section.

Yetta and I planned Kara's 30th birthday party. Yetta had so many wonderful plans and we attacked them all. The planning was wonderful but honey, that execution was something else. I should have known that the day was going to be a doozy when I set my blazer on fire. There was a thread hanging and I happened to have matches on me that were going to be used to light the cake's candles. So as I'm driving to work Monday morning, I burn off the thread and think nothing of it. I'm on my way to work and I see my co-worker in the car next to me. I turn to wave but immediately turn away to pay attention to traffic.

So I get to work and get out of my car and the same co-worker rushes up to me and starts patting my shoulder. I'm thinking to myself, it's too early in the morning for this foolishness. She's like, "girl, you didn't know you were on fire?!?" Damn, not again, I think. Remember last time I blogged about how my car was on fire and my simple self thought everyone was trying to get my attention. I decided not to pay anyone any mind because I thought they were trying to tell me how cute my hair was.

So anyway, my co-worker removes her hand and it seems that the fire had been smoldering on my jacket since I burned off the thread. My co-worker continued her barrage of questions. "You didn't know you were on fire?" No, stupid, evidently not. I saw your jacket burning when I pulled up alongside you up the road." So why didn't you tell
me then Sherlock? "You pulled off so fast that I couldn't say anything." I investigated my jacket and I had a hole the size of a half dollar. Dang!

So later that evening as Yetta and I are trying to pull things together for the party, everything else starts to get
crazy. We wanted the birthday girl to have her fabulous photo on her 30th birthday cake. Well, I get to the store and the bakery man pushes this little stupid looking cake towards me. I'm looking at him like, what's this?He's looking at me like here's your stupid little cake, miss, and have a good day. I'm looking from him to the cake then back to him. Then he says, "is something wrong?" Yes, I know, I am a Christian but hell yeah something is wrong. Before I knew it, I was crying. Like crocodile tears crying. Yetta walks in behind me with a beach bucket.(Who walks around a grocery store with a beach bucket? But I digress.) She looks into my face and was like "Sweet Jesus."

Another grocery store employee walks up to me and asks if I need anything. "Some tissues," I replied. The bakerman explained
what happened and how the mix-up occurred. I was just crying, or as my little cousin said, "Sherri was just cryning and cryning."
I was truly beside myself with this cake. So once I apologized for crying and pleaded with the bakery workers not to laugh at me once I left, the store's general manager let us have the cake for free. He better had!! My tears don't come cheap. Then that dog gone Yetta asks, "did you bring the matches for the cake?" I giggled inside. "Yetta, this isn't the time to ask about matches." We both collapse in laughter. So my moist face and I walked out of the store but not before I overheard a conversation between what appeared to be a 4 year old and his dad.

Kid: Dad, I know what those are?
Dad: (smirking, in disbelief) Really son? Well what are they?
Kid: Enemas! I saw granddad using some the other day.

What happened to grandparents playing ball with their grandkids or reading stories? This kid was watching his...well you know the rest. He's gonna be dipping snuff by the time he is in kindergarten. I just thought that was the funniest thing. That dad's face was looking like mine when he realized his son knew what enemas were. I think he wanted to shed a tear or two.

I tell ya, in the midst of it all God always allows breaks of sunshine. You just have to be willing to pay attention.

Sorry...

I know it has been a moment but why didn't ya'll working folks tell me that having an 8-5 is just that--a full time job. I haven't had time to do anything else! I have always had respect for single parents but now I have a newfound respect for them. 'Cause honey, when 5 o'clock hits, I don't want to do anything but get to my apartment ASAP. I couldn't imagine doing this with a child or children. My children would be repossessed by those people who take your kids away because all I would feed them are vienna sausages and Kool-Aid. There isn't time to cook everyday. My goodness. Now if this 8-5 life doesn't encourage me to finish up my two books, I really don't know what it is going to take.

I thank God for a job and I do like it and the folks I work with. We all had yesterday off and four of us went to lunch which was very nice but honnneeeeyyyyy, this 40 hour work week is for the birds! That getting off at 5pm thing gets me everyday. Maybe I need some vitamins to increase my strength.

Overall, I am well. Admittedly still adjusting to the rigid parameters of my new job. Notice I said job, not career. In the midst of it all, God is still in the blessing business. They say the economy is in a slump and jobs are hard to come by. Please believe that 4 of my girls and my little cousin accepted jobs within two weeks of me accepting mine. "They" say stay where you are because there aren't jobs out there. But what does God say?