The funeral, er Homegoing, was wonderful.

Thank you for the cards, love, prayers, thoughts, text messages, voicemails, black eyed peas and kind words. Nothing went unnoticed.

I didn't have to have "the talk" with my aunts or my mother. "The talk" was more of a threat from me. I wanted to warn them not to be so overcome with grief that they tried to jump in the casket with Auntie. I truly didn't want to be embarrassed. My thinking is if you give someone their flowers here on earth, then you don't have to cut a fool at the funeral/Homegoing. No one crawled in the casket. Everyone must have given her flowers while she was among us. Good deal.

Now I have personally have never attended a funeral/Homegoing when someone tried to jump in the casket but I know we all have heard about them. I was going to be damned if I witnessed it firsthand on Saturday. Everything was very dignified and how do I say it, "caucasian". No hooping and hollering. Just a wonderful, orderly service. My pastor and the choir were superb, just like a Sunday morning service. Auntie was surely smiling in heaven.

But of course there was always some drama with me. How about using those Delta Frequent Flyer miles I had to catch three planes to Detroit for the funeral/Homegoing?

I missed the last flight due to weather. I got to Cleveland at 7:30 and the flight to Detroit left at 7 p.m. Gosh damn! So I was told the soonest the airline could get me to Detroit was 11...the next morning. Auntie's funeral/Homegoing started at 9:30 a.m. Point me in the direction of the rental cars, please.

When God closes an aircraft door, He surely pops a car door open. So Avis's Impala got me to Detroit in two and a half hours. Needless to say, a sista was tired.

Now days after the funeral I sit in bewilderment. I haven't had that "breakdown" that I thought I was supposed to have. Sydni says that I am going to have it when someone asks me something simple, like the time. She said I am just going to fallout crying at the slightest question. But in her defense she said that she was going to be there when it happened with things to make me laugh. Finger puppets, jokes, the whole nine. With my crew, I can never be sad for long. To be as old as we are we are still ridiculously silly. I don't think I am going to need the finger puppets. I do believe that I am going to be alright.

The first of my grandmother's seven children passed away 16 years after she did. Naturally, there is a void in my heart but when I think about how blessed I am I can't do anything but do the happy dance. I'm going miss my auntie but we all have to meet our Maker someday. So I can only live right in hopes of seeing her again. Death isn't the end...It's a beginning. Thanks for everything Auntie Helen.

"Cause He blessed me once,
Then He blessed me twice.
God has been blessing me everyday of my life."

I think the name of the song is "Power" that the Second New Hope Choir sings. Auntie Helen and I danced to this many a days. I hope those three little verses remind you that what you are going through really ain't that bad. God has your back and the storm will be over soon. He promises.

I leave here tomorrow to go North for my Auntie's funeral. I have been so busy all week with work, doing eyelashes and other things that it dawned on my that I hadn't ordered her a flower. Now what's a Homegoing for Auntie with a flower from her only niece?

I was ordering the flower and my eyes teared up. I guess the magnitude of what was happening was finally catching up to me. My. Auntie. Is. Dead. I. Won't. See. Her. Again. In. This. Lifetime. Then I thought about how I couldn't hold her hand anymore and the tears rushed down my face. In the middle of the library. And I'm hungrier than a hostage.

Never order flowers for a funeral when you are hungry. Your emotions are extra intense. I'm in the University's library using a computer, sobbing quietly. Some kid tapped me on my shoulder and said, "Yeah, I have Dr. Akimbo and I cried last night, too. He's tough." I couldn't do anything but laugh. Boy, how I wish that all of my tears were over Dr. Akimbo's class.

So I am going to head home now to pack for my weekend and imagine Auntie Helen walking through my front door. Before she passed, she said that she would visit and I know it'll happen. Any day now.

My, my, my. What a difference a day makes.

Aunt Helen died Friday morning. She passed away in her sleep. That offers me some solace knowing that her death was painless. I want to be angry with her so bad because she had so much love and support coming for not just me but the rest of her family and friends for her recovery. As another aunt gingerly explained to me, "a person can have all of the love in the world but if their will is weak to live is weak then they won't make it." Boy, is she right.

So once again, I am preparing to make my way up North to bury the first of my grandmother's seven kids. Gosh, I've up North so much this year that the neighbors probably think that I have moved back. But jokes aside, I just thank God that I am old and spiritually mature enough to handle it. I think that if I were a teenager my aunt's passing would've thrown me under the bus.

I am well, really. I thought I was going to get a chance to rest but no rest for the weary, at least not in the coming weeks.

The new job is coming along just fine. A week of training down and another week to go. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you my new job title. I am an Eligibility Coordinator. What those long words mean is that I process applications of children that need insurance. Since we all know that health insurance is very close to my heart, I am sure I will enjoy it. Until the next opportunity comes...

Thank you for the birthday wishes and even the belated ones were on time. You all are the best!

I have plans to make for the upcoming week so in the meantime, in the spirit of my post a couple of days ago, God is still keeping me (and you). My aunt my have closed her eyes for the last time but God is alive and able.

Godspeed and Blessings...

Yes, I know.

I am the worst!! But I have good news about how God answers prayers.

I quit my job as a flight attendant on Good Friday and strolled into a new job on this past Monday. He is Able.

I was granted another year on this earth yesterday. I was so exhausted from the past two weeks working flights and such that I celebrated by sitting on my couch with my feet in Epsom salt and water. He is Good!

My mother and aunt came down for my birthday and we didn't go anywhere special or see anything special. But the togetherness was really special because we had each other. God is awesome!

I told you about the PR agency that interviewed me twice?? That was the job that I really, really wanted, remember? Well I got a nice rejection letter from them yesterday-which also happened birthday! God has a sense of humor! And He will keep you from what isn't for you. I am a bit disappointed about not getting that job but praise God that I have a job!

Soon...

The job search is going. I really don't know whether I should term it bad or good but it's going. But in the process, I have heard it all. "You know times are rough and no one is hiring. Just hang on with the airline a little longer." "Girl, jobs out here are scarce. If you have a job you had better stick with what you know." I'm not going to stick with what I know. I'm going to stick with who I know. And I'm not referring to anyone that I can see.

I had an interview last week for an office assistant position. Okay, that's fine, I thought. As long as the job offers health benefits and a cool hourly wage, I'm in. I got gussied up in my church outfit and went to the interview. The office manager began to tell me about the company and then, dropped a bombshell.

"No matter who we hire, we are only paying $7.50 an hour."

I felt like Beyonce in that Irreplaceable video. "They must don't know bout me, they must don't know bout me." Who in this day and age with the experiences that I have is going to work for $7.50? Lady, are you crazy? I think I made that as a high schooler at Bill Knapp's Restaurant. When she dropped that bombshell I know I tuned her out. I was a bit angry because I messed up a good church outfit for this interview. They owe me money for the cleaners.

The same week I had an interview with the "tree huggers" for a public relations position. Man, I tell ya, if using corn oil to start your car makes you that boring then I'm willing to continue to get robbed at the gas pump. The "tree huggers" weren't the most excitable group. Needless to say, I really don't think I'm going to get a callback.

Then, I had an interview Friday with, from what I read, the top Public Relations firm in the state. That one went wonderful. They seemed impressed with me as I was with them. But then again a sister needs a job so everything impresses me at this point. Everything except seven dollars and fifty cents.

Yesterday morning, as I am crawling out of bed, the "impressed" P.R. firm calls. On Wednesday I will take a writing test and meet the CEO and COO. Yesss!!!! I am really excited because this is my area of expertise. I am also overjoyed knowing that God is answering my, and everyone else who has been praying for me, prayer. I know that I have found favor thus far with this firm because I haven't worked directly in public relations since I became a flight attendant. Six years to be exact. A lot of changes occur in six years but they still decided to invite me back for a second round of interviews. Wow! See what happens when you ignore naysayers and rely on who you know? He will open up doors that folks will tell you are shut. And they will pay you more than $7.50, too.

"I can do the impossible
I can see the invisible
because I got faith.
(cause I know I got faith yeah yeah)
Listen
I can climb a mountain
said I can reach my goal.
More than a conqueror
down in my soul.
The devil is a liar.
I've won the race.
Said I got victory
All because I got faith YEAH"
~Kirk Franklin, "Faith"